I hate you, I love you
by TunaFishxx
Summary: First fanfiction ever! so i hope you all like! there's M rating continent here such as. under age drinking, eventual smut, cursing, abuse and others! please note that this is my first time writing something big. so pages may suck. thank you!
1. chapter 1

Those words repeated themselves over and over in her head, but somehow she couldn't understand, or she didn't want to.

"we're moving" Her mother had repeated for a third time now, seeing as her daughter failed to comprehend what was exactly happening. But this time she did, only nodding quietly in response. The room suddenly was silent, what was only a minute felt like an eternity. The teenager swallowed that bitter taste in her mouth, her gaze falling to her mother's. She did try her hardest to hide her anger, but the change of expression on her mother's face made it obvious that she wasn't doing a good job.

" why?" she finally responded, the sudden sound of her voice surprising her mother. " your father was transferred, we don't know if it's permanent or temporary, though." Her mother responded, her hand gently laying on her daughter's shoulder. But the teenager quickly shook it off, biting her lower lin in an attempt to contain her anger, she was sure it'd draw blood, but she didn't care.

" You know he's doing it for you, Peridot. Please try to at least be happy for him" " That bastard is doing it for himself!" She suddenly shouted, instantly regretting it when she saw her mother flinch at the tone of her voice. She sighed and shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose.

" When?" Peridot said calmly, she knew her mother only tried to make her feel better, there was no use taking the anger out on her. "Tomorrow, I already got you out of school, all you need is to pack your stuff. I would help but your father asked me to pack up his" Ask? Or told her to do it? Peridot thought to herself, but she refrained to actually make the remark ,she already seemed upset about the whole situation. " Okay… Do I have time to say goodbye to my friends?" Her mother just gave her a small nod in response, her gaze lowering to the tiled floor.

"I'm sorry" her mother muttered, the teenager sighed again, this wasn't her fault. Peridot just flashed a small smile to her in a quick attempt to reassure her but it failed to stay long enough for her mother to notice and she quickly left.

The blonde slammed the door of her room behind her, locking it. She honestly didn't understand why she was so upset about the situation, change maybe? Having to start all over? That didn't seem so bad, she could be a completely different person without anyone knowing who she was before. Her friends? They were assholes anyways, she loved them though.

" WHAT?!"

Peridot nodded. Watching as one of her friends had a little mental breakdown, it was amusing to say the least. One of the others tried to calm her down but she punched his shoulder, Peridot was sure her friend was about to beat the living hell out of everyone but after a moment of fighting she finally calmed down, all Peridot did was just watched, her expression emotionless the whole time.

" You're actually moving?" she said in between heavy breaths, chugging down a water bottle another had fearfully offered.

" Yup, why would I be joking?" She said, an eyebrow arching. " I don't know! Maybe your sense of humor finally improved?" her friend just sighed, shaking her head. There was a moment of silence, only noise was the tap tap tap from Peridot's laptop. The sound seemed to bring her friend more on edge, she swore that with every click of the keyboard her friend's eye seemed to twitch.

" I'll miss you, y'know? I'll miss you and Alex, and this place" looked at her surroundings, the Junk Yard, yup, this is where her friends and herself usually hang out. Peridot would usually sit on top of a broken car on her laptop and her friends just played stupid games, or tell ghost stories. Yeah, she'll definitely miss this place. Peridot hopped off the car and embraced her friend in a light hug, which surprised her cause Peridot wasn't really the type to hug.

" I'm gonna miss you, asshole." "me too, idiot."

SOME TIME LATER

The day went by fast, it was about 9:46pm. Cold night, and she walked home pretty quickly, she wasn't the one to get home at this time but she got caught up in spending her last day with her friends. She slowly opened the door of her house, she did intend to be quiet as to not disturb her parents but as soon as she entered, almost immediately she as engulfed with the noises of both of them arguing with each other. She groaned loudly and quickly tried to make it to her room but—

"You're late, Peridot" Her father said in that hoarse voice of his, Peridot just huffed, if looks could kill her dad would be--

" I was hanging out with my friends, why do you suddenly care?" "You're my daughter, of course i'd care" Peridot just scoffed at her father and went upstairs to her room, not bothering to respond. It was stubborn of her, course, but what has he ever done for her? Now they're moving, to make matters worst. The teenager threw herself on her bed and just texted her friends until she passed out, tomorrow was going to be a long day.


	2. 2

Her mother woke Peridot up pretty darn early, 6am to be exact, their flight left at 9 but it took a long time to get ready. A few shouts from her Father, her mother just quietly getting ready. And Peridot just tiredly packed the rest of the stuff. She didn't even know what was even going to happen with the stuff in her home, it was all just material stuff but still, they worked hard for everything.

The flight was only about four hours long, Peridot slept the whole flight because she really didn't get enough sleep at home, but when they arrived Peridot immediately noticed the difference. This place was C O L D. And she Hated it already.

It took a while to actually haul in a cab, Peridot just cursed mentally the whole way, she was even able to see her own breath, which she just didn't consider normal. Her mother tried to reassure her daughter and surprisingly it worked, her father was silent the whole way, which was a new record for him, maybe he did wanted the best for them? When they got to the new house-- well apartment building Peridot couldn't help but feel… Small? Well she was generally a small person, only being 4'8, but emotionally small this time. This was all new to her so she couldn't help but actually be afraid of this change.

The inside of the apartment was pretty small, living room right where the kitchen is, at least it had two rooms though. Peridot would have thrown a riot if she didn't have her own space. But everything seemed good so far. Her parents went out to get some food so she had the whole space to herself for at least an hour or so. There really wasn't much to explore though, the space was pretty small, but at least they weren't sleeping on the street, that was good. Her exploration was interrupted when she heard a faint knock, who could that be? Her parent left only a few minutes ago so it couldn't possibly be them. Peridot hesitantly opened the door, looking up at the strange slender woman on the other side. She raised a brow, who even was this? When Peridot opened her mouth to say something the woman extended her hand out at her, a friendly smile plastered on her lips.

"Why hello there child! May i speak with your parents?" Peridot's eyebrow twitched, if looks could kill, this stranger would certainly be very dead.

" I'm 17, and my parents are out for a moment. What do you want?" the woman's smile sank, an apologetic expression quickly taking over. "Oh i'm sorry! It's just you're so…" the woman looked down at Peridot for a moment, examining the person in front of her. "W-well it's nice to meet you! My name is Pearl, and i'm your neighbor." Peridot just listened in silence, they moved in only a couple hours ago and they already had a nosey neighbor? Great.

" I was surprised when i saw people moving here, this isn't the fanciest of places but i'm glad we have someone new! What is your name? " " Peridot, nice to meet you" The teenager said in deadpan, this stranger didn't seem much older than her. Skinny, very tall, short peach hair and sky blue eyes. She seemed interesting, to say the least.

The visit with the girl only lasted for about half an hour, Peridot learned that she was a senior, a massive nerd, a ballet instructor and that she was studying engineering. She was here for a short time and she already spoke to someone, which was good because Peridot was a very antisocial person, and Pearl was kind enough to actually give her cookies so, she won her over. The thing she liked more? They both were going to the same school, Peridot is a junior but she at least didn't have to be completely alone on her first day. Once they said their good bye's Peridot headed back in and passed out, it had been a long day and even if it was still kinda early she was tired. Her mother didn't waste no time, tomorrow Peridot was going straight to school. There was no escaping it, Peridot thought it was a pretty rushed move but staying here alone while her parents probably argue? Yeah no, she rather go to school.


	3. 3

(-Please note that English isn't my first language and I'm trying my best! this will be a slow build up. for now Lapis doesn't feel very good about Peridot. while Peridot is looking her shit. )

Peridot woke up at exactly 5am. School didn't start until 8am but who cared, she rather wake up early and leave early than have to listen to her parents. You'd be surprised on how much they argued, probably even in their sleep, she didn't care. And wanted none of it. Peridot hoped in the bathroom and stripped of her clothing. She didn't do this often, look in the mirror, why? Well she wasn't as kind to herself. Peridot raised a brow and hummed. Flat chest, acne scars on her cheeks… At least i have somewhat of an ass.. Curves? Not so much. She thought. Whenever Peridot did check herself out she would always list what she liked and didn't. There were mostly things she hated about herself, and only a few of the good things.

When peridot got out of the shower she quickly got dressed in her normal style. She wore an oversized green sweater, which had a little cartoon UFO with "Believe" underneath, black leggings with green convers. And to top everything off her big circular glasses. She put a little more work into her hair this time, she had side cut way back then, so her hair was longer in one side and shorter in the other side as her hair grew in. Blonde curly strands covered in gel. Just how she liked it. Why was she making such an effort to seem at least a little decent? She would normally not care about her appearance but since this was a new school if felt like she had a fresh start. A chance to start over.

When the blonde teenager finished she grabbed her back and when she was going to leave--

"Okay. What do you want? "

She said, turning around to face her father. Who didn't seem to be having the usual hangovers. Weird she thought.

" I'm going to take you to school" he explained. It sounded more like a question. Well if Peridot was being completely honest with herself she had no idea where her school was, she was going to ask, or probably pay a taxi. Anything than actually letting her father take her. She sighed and rolled her eyes, folding her arms above her chest.

"Sure" she said. Her father didn't say anything else and they both got out of the apartment and went towards the rented car.

The ride was silent. The radio doing the job of filling the car with a little noise. Peridot had no intention of actually talk nor enjoy this ride… Some would say she should be more understanding of him but nobody knows what her mother and her had been through. It made her blood boil.

Once he dropped her off she muttered a small thank you and quickly walked into the school. She texted Pearl.

Peridot: Hey

Pearl: Hello! Are you in school today? It must be exciting!

Peridot: Hardly

Pearl: What's wrong?

Peridot: Nothing

Peridot: where r u

Pearl: *Are you

Peridot: Fuck off

After a few minutes Peridot finally saw her, Pearl. The tall woman she had spoken before. She wore a blue sun dress that had a yellow ribbon tied around her waist. Fancy, Peridot said mentally.

" You look nice" she suddenly blurted out, words escaping her mouth. "Why thank you, i do try my best! " Pearl said, ending it with a small wink which made Peridot's blood warm up. In a good way of course. In a gay way to be more exact.

Peridot had been out of the closet for about two years now, a few girlfriends, kisses here and there. Sex? Maybe once or twice. It wasn't a topic she was open to talk about.

She didn't feel attracted to a girl instantly. Just appreciated them in "secret".

So. Which is your first block?" "History" Peridot responded in deadpan. Her eyes glued to the floor for a moment, Pearl caught on. She rose(Haha get it) an eyebrow and hummed. "Are you okay? You seem a little disoriented" Peridot shrugged and scratched the back of her head "Just anxious i guess. " was her only respond, after that Pearl just nodded and walked Peridot to her class silently.

Her first class was.. Boring. A few kids talked to her but nothing out of the ordinary. Some smart ass giggled when the teacher mentioned her name but nothing too bad. Her next block was Sociology. Which she had to find on her own.

"Are you Olivine? " she heard the teacher say to her. Peridot nodded and say down in a front seat. " Peridot, yup" "well nice to meet you, I'm Mrs. Marcoux. Glad to have a new face in my class. " another nod. Then silence again until other students came in. Peridot just put on her headphones and ignored everyone as usual. Until she saw a taller figure stand in front of her. Pearl? Peridot looked up. Definitely not Pearl. The girl infront of her was more tanned l. Not as tall as Pearl, but definitely taller than herself. Some freckles on her cheeks and shoulders, blue hair, dark blue eyes. She wore a black tank top with the words "Water Witch" spelled across it and blue ripped skinny jeans. From her tank top it was obvious she was physically in shape. Not something drastic but obviously noticeable.

Peridot tore her earphones away the second she stopped noting every single detail of the female in front of her. She didn't notice how bad she was blushing.

"Are you listening?" The girl said, annoyance in her tone. "Oh sorry, what were you saying?" the blue haired girl just sighed and rolled her eyes, pointing to a small paper with a name written on it on the desk. Something Peridot didn't notice. The paper said Lazuli.

"Teacher goes by assigned seats. This is my desk. " the girl explained once more. It took a moment before Peridot actually got out of the seat and moved into one that didn't have anymore assigned yet. Which was way in the back. But she could still see Lazuli. What a Weird name. She pondered the girl for a big until the teacher came and stuck Stuck a small paper to her now desk. Olivine, it read. Oh. So Lazuli is her last name?

After two one more of her blocks were over Peridot was finally at lunch. And after Sociology she never talked to the blue haired mystery. Would they even speak again? The girl did seem quite aggravated when Peridot wasn't paying attention. Maybe she had blown her only chance to ever speaking with her.. Wait. Since when did she care about such things? Peridot shook her head and sighed, rubbing her temples. She held her head down for a moment, lost in her thoughts before she felt a light tap on her shoulder. Peridot looked up.

"Are you okay?" it was Pearl. Peridot gave a weak quick smile to the other before returning to her normal emotionless self.

"Yeah I'm okay. Don't worry " Pearl just nodded and sat down "A few of my friends are coming over to introduce themselves. Do you mind? " Pearl changed topic, asking in a soft tone, almost like a whisper. Peridot just gave a small nod. Her arms crossed on the table.

She couldn't get that girl out of her head. There was just something about her.. She couldn't quite put her finger on it. She wished. Hah. Peridot was too lost in her thoughts to even notice that Pearl's friends had arrived. She examined them. One was a girl with silver and violet hair, almost pastel. She was very short, almost as short as Peridot, if not, the same. The other was a very tall woman, more taller than Pearl, who was already pretty tall. She had immense curly hair. Which made the entire thing resemble an afro. And next to her-- was Lazuli. Shit.

"And this is Garnet-- " "Hi" Peridot seemed to only wave at the blue haired girl. The other two seemed quite confused. Including Pearl.

Lazuli just awkwardly waved, looking at the other's as saying ' _i have no idea'_.

"M-My name is Peridot." she then looked at everyone, the redness in her cheeks threatening to invade. Either because of embarrassment or because of Lazuli. Maybe both.

The others just shrugged and sat down. "So, you just moved? Lame ass place you just moved into, haha!" the one named Amethyst commented. " Boring Amethyst. You can just say Boring. " Pearl chimed in. Amethyst just stuck her tongue out at the taller girl. In which Pearl just shook her head and rolled her eyes. Muttering a curse of her own under her breath.

As soon as Lapis sat down the table i felt the girl's-- Peridot's eyes on her. It was a weird feeling. The feeling instantly hit her the moment they first locked eyes in the classroom. She couldn't really describe it.. It was a mix of creeped out and weirded out really. Lapis just glared at her every time they locked eyes. Peridot seemed to flinch but continued anyways. _what was it with this girl_? Lapis looked at Peridot once more. Her pale cheeks had a small tinge of color. And once they again locked eyes they seemed to get redder. Lapis rolled her eyes at the smaller girl before raising a brow. Leaning on the table to get close to her. Which made Peridot flinch. When lapis got closer she felt as if she was going to _d i e._

"What is your problem?" Lapis suddenly broke the silence, her voice intimidating and slightly hoarse. Peridot raised her hands in defense. Trying to play it cool.

"Nothing? What's _your_ problem?" Lapis just sighed and got up from her chair and left

What was her problem?


End file.
